In the Classroom

It seems like an eternity since I last wrote on my blog. And when I look at the date of the last blog, I realize it has been something of an eternity. Many things have happened between then and now, some of which are minute, some of which still stand out in my mind. So, here are just a few highlights from October.

Let's begin with two events that took place in my classroom a few weeks back. First, someone was shanked in the middle of my classroom. And not just any kid got shanked, but the loudest, most talkative student in the class who always has at least 2 questions to ask...perhaps that's why God gave us two hands. For some reason he was sagging his britches that day. I, too, noticed he was sagging when normally he did not (at least I had never noticed it before). Perhaps he got new pants. Perhaps he wanted to be cool. Perhaps he just felt like it. Regardless, one of his good friends reaches over and pulls his pants down right when they were all getting their stuff together to leave. However he not only got the pants, but the boxers as well. So, as I look up to see what all the commotion is about, I see this boy hunched over in the middle of my classroom, looking at me with wide eyes, one hand pulling his shirt down to cover everything, the other hand clutching at his pants that are down around the ankles.

The second major occurrence that week actually involved me and my inability to think before speaking. During my first period class one day, we had a short lesson and then I planned on going over answers to a quiz I was going to return to my students the next day to work on for another half class period. However, after the lesson they begged me to let them teach me some Spanish words and phrases. I gave in, so we spent 5-10 minutes learning slang Spanish. After they taught me all the vulgar words they knew, I turned to the board to begin writing the quiz problems on the board. As soon as I turned my back, they all started laughing hysterically. I just thought they were still rowdy from the Spanish lesson so I turned around and quieted them before turning back to the board to continue writing. As soon as I put my back to them, they begin laughing hysterically again. I turn and say, "what is so funny?" They proceed to convince me that I have a hole in my pants. Now, to my credit, there is a nail that sticks out of my board that I have often snagged pants on. And I remember rubbing past the nail, so when they said I had a hole in my pants, it wasn't all that unbelievable...it could happen. Needless to say, I immediately face the class and do not turn around again. Needless to say, they continue making comments embellishing how big the hole is, how they can see everything, etc. Try as I might, I could not for the life of me feel the hole in my own pants even though I kept looking for the hole with my hands (essentially rubbing my butt). So, I tried, unsuccessfully, to get one of the two girls in the class to come up and just point out the hole. They refused. I even told them they could even use a pencil to just point it out to me; they didn't have to use their finger. The boys told me, "Miss, Jona will use a pencil to show you where the hole is" (rumor has it Jona has a big crush on me). I said no, I want a girl to come show me. They refused. Meanwhile, my brilliant students realize that I haven't given them any answers yet, so they ask me to continue writing on the board. I replied that I was going to write on the board anymore if I have a hole in my pants (not unreasonable, if you ask me). They continued to plead for answers. And I said, "I just want someone to come up here and stick a pencil in the hole." At this, as typical perverse seniors will, they fell out on the floor laughing (literally some of them fell on the floor from laughing so hard). Jona stands up holding a pencil as if offering to come stick his pencil in the hole...at which the laughter gets even more hysterical. The next week someone posted a quote board for teacher's quotes...guess who made it on there. Turns out I did not have a hole in my pants.